I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
