she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I miss vodka workout Fridays
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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