You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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