dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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