Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
