I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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