After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Such a big mess for such a small penis
This toilet bowl is my home.
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