Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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