I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
