Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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