So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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