thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
