Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize