i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
