ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
