She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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