i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
