its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
MIDGETS
????
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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