but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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