I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
