2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize