just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
