Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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