Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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