I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
