my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
