Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
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