Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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