I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize