its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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