Too much gin, very little bucket
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We talked him into tasing himself.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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