My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i came on her dog
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
My life is pants optional.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
