R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize