$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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