I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
