One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
