i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize