Duck Duck Cougar?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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