don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
