what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
