so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
