Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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