I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
