So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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