Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Randomize