apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
