Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
did i walk over a car last night?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
