I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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