i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
