Me too!
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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