The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
it's like iHOP with fire
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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