I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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