Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
