If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
