Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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