Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
