my vag is so smooth its legendary
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
