i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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