did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
