Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
pray to the hookup gods
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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