I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize