do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize